Update your memories

It’s easy to get stuck in the past. On situations and on people.

Think back to school. Remember someone you haven’t thought about in a while.

A former best friend you haven’t talked to in ten years, the random girl who sat by you in home room… or maybe the kid who sang in my ear every goddamn day in math class.

If they’re still kicking, they are not the same person (hopefully with less ear singing). They’ve diverged on a path that you may no longer realize or understand. Human minds like straight lines, so we keep people as static characters locked in coffins in our mind.

Including ourselves.

We likely didn’t even know that person then. Not fully. We barely know our full selves, so all we really have is a small impression of who someone is.

And they’re an entirely different person now. You open up Facebook and (doom)scroll past these different lives, different looks, different names, different faces.

Effectively, that person in your memory is dead. They don’t exist in the same way, shape, or form.

It especially hurts when you loved somebody. You keep this vision of them in your mind. This is why so many people have trouble moving on.

But the version of the person you knew doesn’t exist anymore. Grieve it, but stop locking yourself in a coffin with dead bodies.